As miserable to watch as it was for you, at least you didn't have to cover the game, so consider yourself lucky. Also, you didn't have to watch the replay on TV to relive the experience, so consider yourself smart, for having a more sensible job than I do.
Obviously any discussion of the game must begin with the offensive line, and boy, does Jim Harbaugh have to be alarmed after witnessing that horror show on Saturday. At least against New Orleans the team had the excuse that they hadn't practiced their blitz pickups much yet and that they were surprised that Saints defensive coordinator Gregg Williams attacked them so aggressively for an opening preseason game. Houston, however, didn't do anything fancy at all, unless you consider simple line stunts and twists exotic fare. Coordinator Wade Phillips played it pretty vanilla and seldom blitzed at all.
As painful as it is to read, the truth of the matter is that the Texans whipped the 49ers up front with just an ordinary four man pass rush. On their first series, left tackle Joe Staley got overpowered by Texans linebacker Connor Barwin, a serviceable player who had all of 3.5 sacks last season. Staley had at least 40 pounds on Barwin, yet he was still knocked backward like some string-bean. On the next series both Staley and left guard Mike Iupati stood by and played "I got it, you take it" with defensive end Antonio Smith, another average guy who had four sacks last season. Their Smith destroyed your Smith on 2nd-and-1, and poof went that possession.
Then the offense really started playing badly.
Colin Kaepernick checked into the game after two series, just as Harbaugh promised he would, but not before the second-string defense (save for nose tackle Isaac Sopoaga and corner Carlos Rogers, who needed the reps) got eviscerated by Texans QB Matt Schaub. I really don't know what Harbaugh was expecting to happen fielding a bunch of backups against one of the most prolific offenses in football, but Houston had little trouble moving down the field. Schaub is a master at the play-action pass, and he was able to sucker the linebackers on bootlegs time and again to find his tight end and the backside receiver open again and again.
Actually, all things considered the backups didn't fare too badly, as they only allowed one touchdown in three series. Safety Madieu Williams forced a fumble out of Texans running back Derrick Ward (the second straight game Williams has been involved in a turnover) that Ricky Jean Francois came up with and the next possession Larry Grant got his helmet on the ball after a catch by Texans tight end Owen Daniels, and this time C.J. Spillman scooped up the loose ball. You're not supposed to be trailing 24-7 at half time when your defense gets three turnovers -- the 49ers only points of the game came when Schaub threw a screen pass on the first play from scrimmage right to Ahmad Brooks, who he somehow didn't see even though Brooks was standing directly in front of him -- yet there we were.
Harbaugh said his guys were "violated," which sounds pretty unpleasant. Maybe he should ask the fans who had to fork over regular season ticket prices for that mess whether they felt violated. Kaepernick forced a ball intended for Braylon Edwards into double coverage and Troy Nolan, the safety underneath, zoomed through a maze of dazed 49ers linemen for a 73-yard touchdown.
It didn't matter which line combination Harbaugh tried. Adam Snyder started at center, but Jonathan Goodwin got the majority of the snaps there. Snyder played a couple of series at right guard while Chilo Rachal sat. Ditto Alex Boone for right tackle Anthony Davis. No quintet could prevent the onslaught of pressure the quarterbacks faced. Somehow five blockers AND a running back there for blitz pick up weren't enough to keep four pass rushers at bay for longer than a second or two. Forget the five or seven-step drops, it was all the 49ers could do to get passes off at three steps. The Texans defensive backs saw this and pressed, chocking off the short routes and disrupting the rhythm of the patterns.
Smith checked back into the game and threw an interception himself because he got decked by his namesake right as he was about to step into a throw. Goodwin just stood there and watched the guy go right past him. Maybe he was expecting the pass to have been thrown already, I'm not sure.
In the second half the Texans tacked on a couple of field goals with their backups, but they'd clearly taken the foot off the gas by that point and were mostly running the ball. What was the point? They'd already proven anything that can be proved in a preseason game.
Much like the Saints were two weeks ago, they're on an entirely different level than the 49ers. Their offensive line didn't let Schaub get touched and they were able to take advantage of the 49ers aggressive linebackers in coverage. Aldon Smith, NaVorro Bowman and Ahmad Brooks all have the speed and athleticism to cover people, but not the experience and certainly not the instincts just yet. As for Patrick Willis, I thought it funny at the time a few weeks ago when defensive coordinator Vic Fangio said the biggest hole in the All-Pro game was his poor technique as a blitzer. Kind of an odd statement to make about a guy who had six sacks last season playing for a conservative defense that didn't blitz very often, no? I suppose Fangio has the right to fudge a little bit, but Willis, like the rest of these linebackers, struggles in coverage more than anything else.
The positives in the game were few and far between, but here goes...
- RB Kendall Hunter again looked slippery out there, when he wasn't met immediately in the backfield. He's definitely had a better preseason than Anthony Dixon, and more suited to be a three-down back should Frank Gore go down, but Dixon is still the guy who figures to get the 3rd-and-inches/goal-line carries that will piss off fantasy owners of Gore to no end.
- WR Kyle Williams only had one catch, but he showed off his YAC skills again. I believe he runs the slant route better than anyone on the team, though we haven't seen Michael Crabtree run it yet, of course. Williams can also return kicks and punts and will be a useful guy on hot routes when the other team is blitzing. He's not a deep threat though. He's more quick than fast.
- DE Demarcus Dobbs had another sack, and that makes three quality performances in three preseason games. As an undrafted and unheralded rookie from Georgia he was one of the biggest long shots to make the team, but he's likely secured a roster spot as Justin Smith's backup.
- LB Scott McKillop Had six tackles in a half in a "where'd that come from?" performance. It was McKillop's first game since tearing his ACL and patellar tendons in his knee early in training camp last year. He was still wearing a bulky brace and not running very smoothly, but he does have a nose for the ball.
- P Sam Paulescu had a busy and productive night, averaging 50 yards on eight punts, with a long of 61. He even forced a fumble. Paulescu still has no chance to make the team because he'll be cut as soon as Andy Lee's hip heals, but he put good film out there for the 31 other teams.
- Coach Jim Harbaugh also singled out LB Larry Grant, S Madieu Williams, rookie CB Chris Culliver and rookie NT Ian Williams as guys who had good games.
And the bad... (quarterbacks and linemen not included, because it's understood they were all awful collectively)
- Rookie WR Ronald Johnson had a terrible game. The sixth-round pick from USC got his first extensive playing time of the preseason, and he fumbled two punt returns (losing one) and dropped the only pass thrown his way. At this point I'd say he'd be fortunate to make the practice squad.
- FB Moran Norris had another brutal night as a lead blocker. I'm starting to think maybe, just maybe he won't make the team. The one advantage he's had over rookie Bruce Miller, besides experience, is that he's supposedly the better blocker. But if he can't even do that, then what's the point of having him out there over the kid who's a better athlete and more of a threat as a receiver? Maybe they don't have to waste a roster spot on two fullbacks.
- CB Tarell Brown couldn't do much in coverage against Andre Johnson. It's hard to fault him here - I mean it's Andre Johnson - but still, he couldn't have helped his case to be a starter once Shawntae Spencer returns from injury.
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The 49ers have to cut seven guys as I understand by Tuesday to get to the 80-man roster limit.
Here's a guess:
RB Seth Smith
WR Joe Hastings (looks like Michael Cera, but with blond hair. Super skinny dude.)
G Nick Howell
T Kenny Wiggins
LB Monte Simmons
CB Phillip Davis
CB Anthony West
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